Happy Birthday Elaine!

WOW 3 years has gone by so fast!!!! Sitting with Elaine on the night of her birthday, Dec 9, 2006. looking through all her Premie stuff brings tears to my eyes. Each year I show her the Memory box i made for her. It contains all her clothes, some special blankets, cards, and the care pages that many of you wrote on. There are countless ultrasound pictures and its just a box full of memories. Each Year the few days leading up to her birthday are hard for me. I can remember most of what happened each day and how my body continued to reject her little body. Iam amazed at how much she has grown and what a beautiful young lady she is becomming. Elaine you are my precious little girl! HAPPY 3rd BIRTHDAY SWEET HEART!

Some fun stuff she doing right now:

-learning how to ride a bike!
-she can draw faces now, its so cute!
-she knows 4 colors red, orange, green and blue
-she can say most of her ABC's
- she loves to dance, and sing songs
-she is inlove with anything princess!
-she had a very vivid memory and holds you to it
-she loves her baby brother
-starting to really grasp going potty
-enjoys helping with everything
-loves watching cartoons
and is starting to grow in her understand of Jesus! she loves to pray and read stories about him.



JACOB PETER TROAST!!

Jacob is 8 months old already, that has gone by fast too! he is crawling and pulling himself up onto stuff. He enjoys trying to feed himself, loves bread, fruit bars, noodles and what ever is put in front of him!! He is a happy go lucky dude, unless he is sick,tired or hungry. He is a bundle of fun!!

Life has been crazy around here, both kids have been sick on and off for a few weeks! hopefully they got it all out of their systems. I think each one has been to the doctor at least twice in the last few weeks. Josh caught a cold and I so far have been fairly healthy. We spend thanksgiving at home with family and friends! and then went back to have a family party for Josh's Birthday and Elaines. On her actual birthday Josh and I took her to Chuckie Cheese!! she had so much FUN!! and then that night I took her and Jacob to Applebees. and when Josh came home from work we had cake together. It was a fun but busy day.

We have been living here on the East side for 1 year now. And it does not get any easier for us. We both miss home terribly. Me probably more so than Josh. He is too busy with work right now to think about it. I have been going to MOPS and trying to make new friends. Elaine enjoys this as well.
We are looking forward to Christmas as we will be spending most of our time back home.

2010 will be a busy year again, as we have a couple fun parties planned and My sister Lisa and Her husband Jon will welcome their first baby in the Spring!!

6 months old strong willed

its been way to long scince an update and finally today I have time to sit down and fill you all in on life on Baywood Dr.

Jacob, has turned 6 months old, time has flown. I cannot belive how fast it went. He is so precious and I love all the new things that he is learning every single day. He has his offical check-up next monday, but I sat him up on the bathroom scale and he weighs 24 pounds!! its crazy, Elaine was over 15 months old when she weighed that much. HE is learning how to crawl, he gets up on all fours and rocks,He can also spin himself around on his stomach and reaches for things. He enjoys playing with toys that make noise, and LOVES jumping in his exersaucer. He is eating 2 meals a day of baby food and LOVES eating food. He also has figuared out the sippy cup and enjoys that as well. He currently sleep almost 12 hours although napping during the day is very difficult for him.. not sure why but he hates doing it and is often very crabby by late afternoon. Jacobs smile and interest in his surrounds is so fun to watch and makes me try and stop daily to see what he sees, because he loves it!

Elaine is my super strong willed child.... She is truly a handful in many ways.... she will be 3 in december and hopefull we can start walking out of this no listening, refusing to potty train,temper- tantrum throwing phase. Because Elaines birthday is 8 days past the cut off for 3yr old preschool, we are doing preschool at home 2 days a week for an Hour. She loves it! right now we do it during the hour in morning when Jacobs naps. I have the office set up with preshool stuff that I brought out and we have a schedual we follow, songs to sing a theme and project to do. She is starting to get the hang of doing things and tells Josh all about it in the evening. We also go to MOPS at our church and we have story time once a week at the library. We keep busy and she enjoys it. Her other favorite thing to do is play outside, she enjoys the outdoors and is having a really hard time adjusting to cooler weather and the fact that she needs to dress warmer. Grandma taught her a new game, hide and seek and she plays it all the time. We are still trying to potty train her... it will be 1 year in January... and we are getting no where. She has no remorse about pooping in pants, other than she does not want to sit in it. she WILL not use the toilet for BM's and she still is working on going potty. This for me is so frustrating, i dont like to potty train.

Josh and Sara..... I was able to go with Josh this year to a conference in New YOrk. IT was my first time away from both kids and for more than a day. We were gone 4 days. I had a hard time at first but then learned to relax. I slept in every day, and watched the Whole TOday Show, ate my food slowly and enjoyed beverages and hanging out with adults. It was a blessing and very much needed for both of us to get away together. Josh spent the day in conferences, in the hotel. and I went with him to a Yankee's game on my birthday, and to a dinner with family, and spent time with his Grandparents that live in NJ. I missed my kids, but WOW not having to worry about anyone but yourself is really refreshing.

I have been really busy raising 2 kids!! im exausted all the time! and ready for this baby weight to come off!! I NEED THE ENERGY! MOPS just started back up this fall, so its been nice to go back and spend a couple hours with other moms. Im going to try and get more involved this year and meet some more ladies. We moved to Wixom in August to a family friendly area, and that has helped big time with my mood. Im still very homesick and want badly to move back to my friends and family. My sister just found out that she is pregnant, and due May 21. This makes me even more homesick, and I cannot be there to watch her grow and go into motherhood. my prayers are daily to help me adjust and bring us back home someday.

Josh has been very busy this summer and Fall with Softball. HE has learned the Hardway that he is not playing in the fall ever again. Its 2 days a week, double headers and he is never home. he comes home long enough to change and is gone until 10pm or later. HE is not allowed to play anymore. He can play during the summer one game a week!.
Work is keeping his VERY VERY VERY busy, long hours and long days. thats all I have to say about that. :) ( Iam very proud of him and he does a great Job at his work!!)

Vacation and life!

Last week we went back to west michigan for a week long vacation. IT was interesting and Elaine decided to go through a phase of no naps and not wanting to sleep at night. IT was a very stressful first part of the week.
We enjoyed the week by spending lots of time with family and friends. We had dinner with our pastor and his family. Went for walks on the boardwalk, ate lots of ice cream and went to the parks and zoo with friends. Josh was able to go golfing a few times and catch up with some friends. I had a couple days alone too. I had a girls day with my friend Brea, we went to see the Proposal and had some quality girl time with out kids. some highlights of our vacation were:

* norman ran into a HUGE nest of bees and was stung many times, poor guy was tired and licking his wounds for a couple days.

* family picnics!

* Jacob blew out his pants a few times! one even made it onto Aunt Lindsey!

* we bought a Wii!

* I took Elaine to the beach for some girl time,we had a blast building castles in the sand :)

* Norman and Fiona went the beach in muskegon too! Elaine loved chasing them in the water and Playing with Aunt Lisa in the waves!

* we discovered Aunt Lisa and Uncle Jon has Noggin!!

*the Zoo
* mommy also got to sleep in a few times and take a couple naps!! YES

It was a very fun and relaxing time, only next year we want to come a week later and have some fun with Coast Guard too. Now that we are back home we have found a place to live for the rest of out time here, we will be renting a house in a subdivison called Hidden Creek in Wixom, Michigan we are going to be moving in the next week or so. It is a nice 2 story home with 3 bedrooms, 2 1/2 baths and a finished basement with another full kitchen. I have been busy packing the house up again. Its hard to pack during the summer though when its nice out and all i want to do is play outside with the kids. Its been a busy few weeks!

4 Months Old

man, time has flown by, my little Jacob is 4 months old already. here are some things he is doing now.

* He smiles and giggles like crazy! He is a happy baby unless he is pooping or hungry.

*He is eating cereal now, he loves it and drinking pear juice because he is so constipated.

* He is starting to like being on his belly which is wonderful!!

* Loves is exersaucer, he is spinning himself around in it!

* He is reaching for toys and grabbing them from the floor or when handed to him.

* takes wonderful naps and sleep through the night 9:30-7:30 am!!

* he is wearing 9 month clothing!

Jacob goes into see the doctor for his 4 month checkup and shots on Tuesday, we are anxious to see how much he weighs, He is a big boy and we love him so much!!

Jacob is 2 months old!

WOW time is going so fast. Jacob is 2 months old already. He just had his check-up. He weighs 16 lbs 4 oz and 24 inches long. He is in the 90th percent for height and 95th for weight. As the Dr. says he is ONE BIG BOY!! He is doing great in all areas except eating, Funny I know. He still wants to nurse every 1.5-2 hrs. I told the dr when i pump and give him a bottle that he eats more and goes longer. She said its sounds like his latch is not that good, because he should be going at least 3 hrs between feedings. She said give it a try with bottles and see what happens she also suggested to mix some formula in with breast milk. We have been doing that and life is wonderful!!! he does so great, he goes 3 hrs between feedings, he is not as fussy and he is much more content. He drinks about 6-7 ounces of breastmilk and sometimes I add formula. Its tough pumping I usually pump 4-5 times a day including one time at night. But its so worth it to have him be full longer and more content. I have also been staying away from dairy and his stomach and gas seems to be much better!! Overall he is a really good baby. He has been sleeping from 11-6:30am and eats and goes back to sleep for about another Hr. He loves playing with his sister, she shows him toys and he smiles at her :) He takes one really long nap from 1-4 and cat naps a few other times during the day. He enjoys his bouncy seat and because he has such good head strength the Dr. said we can start proping him up in the exersauser. He loves it and looks all around. He is such a blessing and life is starting to get a little easier now that we have him some what figuared out for the time being.

Elaine is growing up so fast and loves being a big sister!! She likes to show him toys and lay on the floor by him. He smiles and she gets so excited. She has been being nicer to him and does not mind that he is part of our family now :) Elaine has started potty training. She has been wearing BIG girl underwear all day(except when i go out she wears a pull up and bed time) she goes potty and enjoys getting tinkerbell and princess stickers. Going Poopy is another story, she knows she is doing it and goes everytime in feeding Jacob so its hard to catch her. She then comes to me and tells me she pooped. Im not sure how to get her to go on the potty, but at least she pees on it. She enjoys going to MOPS with me and I love the time to be around adults. She plays well with other kids. Her speech is incredible and she loves exploring her world,she is curious and asks lots of questions about everything. She enjoys playing with her babies, going to the library, playing at the park and spend a lot of time outside. She loves running when we go on walks. She is so sweet yet a huge handful she is VERY strong willed and its a challenge sometimes.

Josh is busy,busy with work. He has some new projects in the works for one of his clinics that will keep him busier. He just got back from GR with 2 days of meetings, I spent my first time alone with the kids. I missed him. He is playing on a softball team with one of the Doctors. He plays games every weds night. He is getting old as he has already pulled both hamstrings. One was really bad with a huge bruise for a week. The kids and I have gone to watch him, Elaine loves it!!!

I have been doing ok. Parenting is a challenge and I have been exausted. The best times are when Lainey comes to me and says"hug me mamma" and when Jacob wakes up at 6am and smiles and talks to me. It makes it worth it as I smile back between the tears. I wont lie I have been really down lately. I Miss home even more as the challenges of parenting arise everyday. I miss my family I miss spending time with my sister and I miss terribly date nights with my husband and just being able to go out by myself. I feel really alone at times. I find myself praying that our time here would pass as fast as possible. Its not all bad I learned how to come out of my comfort zone and I have been involved with MOPS at the church we have been attending I went in knowing no one and left for the summer break having made some new friends. I will go back again in the fall. I have also made a couple other friends through Josh and My friend Andrea back home. I have play dates with Them it helps out alot. thanks Emily and Carrie!!

We are looking forward to spending lots of time in Grand Haven for the summer and comming back for a couple weddings as well.

Time is flying

WOW!! Jacob is already 5 1/2 weeks old!! He is growing so much. He is wearing size 2 diapers already and is wearing mostly 3-6 month clothes. He enjoys watching his sister and playing with his mommy and daddy. He is still working on this nursing thing, which is new to both mom and him. He wont latch on and nurse with out the nipple sheild. It makes it really hard to just sit down and nurse, i have to make sure i have that thing washed and ready to go. At night he gets bottles with breastmilk. He is a big eater when he is given a bottle. He eats 5-7 ounces at a time. he is starting to get into a sleep pattern for night time. He takes a 6 ounce bottle at 10-11pm and then he sleeps until 4-5am, eats another 6-7 ounce bottle and goes back to sleep till about 7:30-8:30am!! Im also getting close to having Jacob nap at the same time Elaine does. I have been working on his day time eating schedual and getting him to eat right before Elaines nap, and then he will sleep too. He is so different from Elaine. Elaine was a very content baby and not much bothered her, I could take her anywhere and she was content to just sit in the car seat. Jacob is totally the opposit. he fusses alot more and does not like to just sit in the seat. He is a very sensitve little boy. I also had to cut out all dairy and milk products. He was just screaming after each feeding and would arch his back and his belly would get hard. The Dr. said to try and cut all the milk products out, Jacob seems to be doing much better the screaming is down to a couple times a day and not all day long! I hate not having milk, cheese etc... I ate it daily and often so its been really hard for me to not have anything good to eat :)

Elaine is doing well, she is having a hard time adjusting to life with Jacob and not being the center of attention all day every day. She is also in those terrible twos !! defiant when ever she can. She has just been naughty. She has good days and bad days. We are trying hard to spend one on one time and do special stuff with her. But i guess its just going to have to take time.

Josh and I are adjusting, both very tired and realize how much we miss having help around when we needed a break, being here in Detroit does not allow for that at all. Its been the hardest. I have been struggling with how to juggle all the daily tasks and caring for two kids and giving them the attention they need. Some days I feel like a huge failure and wonder what I can do to improve. I feel very worn out and sad at times. But I continue to plow through and know it will (hopefully) get better with time.

We have been in Farmington hills almost 6 months!! time goes by fast. The weather is starting to get nicer out. I went out today and mowed the lawn for the first time in almost 10 years. I moved to a condo when I was 18 and never had to do yard work again, until today!
Josh is doing well at work and has also joined a softball team with one of the Doctors. He has his first game this weds, I think Ill take the kids and watch him play.

Jacob Peter Troast

Thursday morning we went to the hospital at 7 am and at 854 am Jacob came into the world. He weighed 8 pounds 15 ounces and was 20.5 inches long. Sara and Jacob are doing well at Mercy General Hospital in Muskegon. Jacob has been attempting to breast feed. Today he had his man surgery (circumcision). We have had many visitors and we are thankful for all the visits and gifts. We feel very blessed and loved. Lainey is also excited to be a big sister, she likes to hold her brother and give him kisses. I think she is just excited that she is getting presents. It was great that Sara was able to have a term baby and that we were able to return home where many of our family and friends are. I am posting some pictures from Jacob's first couple of days.

2 days until Jacob is HERE!!!

YEAH!!! We are 38 weeks today!! Thursday morning we will be holding our sweet baby Boy!! I had my last check-up today. things are going good. I had mentioned to her that last night I got no sleep and felt a ton of pressure and kept having to go to the bathroom. When she checked me she said well its because you have dropped and his head is right there. so that explains the waddle and almost slight pain ive been having the last 24 hrs. It felt like the last day of school before summer, this being the last baby check-up. Im super excited to be going back to muskegon to have Dr. McDonald deliver.

Tonight Elaine, Josh and I ran some errands and then we took Elaine to Mc Donalds for a sunday!! She sat so cute and ate her ice-cream. towards the end she got so cold she would not stop shaking, but would not give up on finishing the icecream either. She ended up with it all over the table at one point because she was shaking so bad. We all had a good laugh!! I will miss these alone times together, and will have to make a point to take her out for one on one time.

The house is cleaned and ready for the new baby. All the baby stuff is out and cleaned. We will be leaving tommorow afternoon to go back to muskegon. We will be staying with Joshs parents. We are going to have a family evening with his family and mine, just hanging out and visiting.
Im so thankful to everyone for their prayers through out this pregnancy, and very thankful to God for pulling me through. I want to thank Joshs parents for helping out during all those last minute phones calls to "please Come" and to Josh esspecially for all his support, We both have had a hard time and havent always been the nicest to each other, but we pulled through. This pregnancy was once again tough on us. But he always has helped out and held out an understanding arm to lean on or cry on or yell. Thank you baby!! and to everyone eles too!!!!!

9 More Days!!!

Time is flying by. Im 37 weeks and still going. Im huge, bloated, hurt all over, and cannot sleep at night. Despite it all Im still pregnant and forever greatful to be so. Last night while I was reading in bed, I had my hand on my belly, bracing myself for the very strong braxton hicks contractions I was having. and suddenly I felt this weird body part, and I realized I was feeling the bottom of his foot completly pressing out at me. It was magical, and wonderful to feel a body part and know what it was, its so fun!!!! it makes it all worth it. I have felt it several times today usually right when i think i just cannot be pregnant anymore, he pushes his foot out to remind me of the reward. Seeing my sweet baby boy that despite the many challenges over the last nine months, I managed to carry him full term. thank you Jesus!! and thank you to everyone who spent much time praying for me, Jacob, and our family. My doctor visit went good today, i think i have an infection again, 3rd one this pregnancy. Ill know by tommorow. Im not dialated but am softening more. I go back Friday for a non-stress test, and then on tuesday for my last doctor apointment!!!!!!!! Thursday the 26th he will be here!!! Its only nine days away and I cannot believe its here!!!! We are so thrilled!!

Life here has been busy, ive been really tired but still have nesting going on. Ive been running errands, trying to get "supplies" before next week. Taking Norman to get a bath and nails cut tommorow. Spending alot of time with Elaine, preparing her for the BIG change next week. We have been to the library to get books on bringing home the new baby. We have also spent alot of time outside playing together while the weather has been wonderful!!! She knows her "brother" Jacob is comming and she loves telling people she is going to be a "Big Sister" This weekend we will be doing alot of cleaning and washing so things are in order. And yes Josh knows about this, as he is going to be washing all the floors by hand. He has accepted this challenge:) I LOVE YOU JOSH!!!!

36 weeks

Today we are 36 weeks pregnant. I had my doctor appt today. Things look good. My cervix is softening. and the baby looks good. I have Non-stress tests two times a week. Today he decided not to comply with it, so I was able to get a quick ultrasound. I was able to see his face and hands. So cute. It was quick, the doctor was just checking for movment, and heart rates. Im feel very large and am very embarrased that im catching up to josh as far as weight it concerned. Its going to be a VERY long weight loss road for me when its all said and done. Jacob will be here two weeks from Thursday. I cannot wait to meet him.

Elaine and I are spending alot of quality time together. Today she helped me to wash bottles and then I sanitized them. She was so proud to stand at the counter and help out. When it was all done, she did not want to be done. She threw a huge!! fit when i said we were done. She kept saying to me"mommy help Jacob" explaining to her during a tantrum that she did help and that we are done because there are no more things to wash, is nearly impossible.

yesterday we went outside to play. I was feeling good and decided to join elaine on the ground and draw with chalk. when i was done and could not sit any longer I tried to roll over and get up. Only I could not get enough momentum to get up. I said to lainey "please bring mommy the wagon, im stuck and need help getting up" she actually rolled it to me,and I was able to grab on and pull my self back up. So a few mins later she is laying back down drawing and she says"mommy help,wagon stuck" I laughed so hard she was doing what she saw me do. the other funny part is that she got up, went and got the wagon by herself, layed back down then pulled herself up. It was a very funny moment.

We also enjoyed last friday with warm temps 65 degrees. We played outside all day and I had the windows open and enjoyed every minute of it. Elaine is growing up so fast, She is taken to potty training, and is talking and singing so much. I love spending time with her and watching her grow and mature and learn about the world around her.

Josh, is well Josh. Nothing new with him. He is busy with work. and spends one night a week with guys from work,they go hit softballs. He loves doing that!!! He has also broke out the chuck norris total gym again 3 times a week. Looking mighty buff I might add :)

We are both trying to prepare to bring another baby into the house. We are getting things together and preparing our minds for lack of sleep and helping Elaine adjust to her world that is soon to be turned upside down.

JACOBS BIRTHDAY IS....

I made my date for the c-section. We are going to come home to muskegon and have my orriginal doctor deliver Jacob. The date is Thursday March 26, Dr. Mcdonald decided on doing it at 38 weeks because of my history. I dont know the exact time yet but at least we have a date. This is all contingent on making it that far. So far things look good other than high blood pressure, and im on medication for that. If i can stay healthy than I can go back and have him at home. I know that at any time i could turn and would have to be delivered here in Farmington Hills. But as of right now Im so excited and ready to see this little guy in a few weeks!!! I will keep you posted. I will be at Mercy Birthing Center off of Apple Ave. I will probably be there three or four days. Then we will head back here to Farmington Hills. Elaine has her BIG SISTER tee-shirt ready!! and almost everything is ready for him to come home. we just have to clean up his room and get diapers.

34

YEAH WE ARE 34 WEEKS!!!!! This is so exciting for us!! I feel huge and of course I have a much larger baby growing inside, around 5 pounds right now. I was put on some blood pressure pills last week. Labetalol. I hate being on them because I feel horrible, i get chills, shakes and get really tired. We did take the does down a bit from 400 mg to 200mg. hopefully it will help. I have not had any protein in urine and blood work is fine, my weight gain has slowed. Im actually the weight I was at 30 weeks when i delivered elaine. Only thing that was wrong was really high blood pressure, that is why they put me on the BP pill. Its not Ideal but having the high blood pressure is not good either. Today Josh came with to my appointment for moral support. We have decided that if the next 5 weeks go well that we want to deliver at home in muskegon. We got that ok today. So i have called my doctor at home to get somthing in the books. I will be 39 weeks on March 31. But with the blood pressure thing i may have to be delivered earlier. Im waiting for the Doctor to call me back. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Im 80% confident that I will make it 5 more weeks. Ill just rest and do my best to keep him in. Next week they will start checking my cervix and all that fun stuff. One things I would love to have your prayers and comments if you want, is on getting my tubes tied. I have been struggling with this maybe for selfish reasons but non the less struggling. Given my history and all the times in and out of hospital I have been advised not to try again. And truthfully I dont want to. Im so emotionally drained that I dont know how to even handle my emotions at times. I feel horrible for putting Josh through all this, and Elaine whom for a while with all the changes refused to eat and her hair started falling out. Her way of dealing with stress. I was home and then not then home and gone again. I just dont think i can do that againwith two kids at home. I know some of it was me trying to handle the stress of moving away from everyone and everything familer to me. I on the other hand have always wanted a big family and would love to have had 4 kids but I really wanted 3. I feel weird that I will never have that chance again. It makes me sad. I pray daily about this sometimes more than that. I just want to feel confident about doing this procedure. If Im going to have it done I have to do it during the c-section because these are catholic hospitals and I have to have a medical reason to do it. Prayers and your imput would be wonderful. I just want to collect all the facts and make the right choice for our family.

Lainey and Josh are struggling with colds right now. Elaine has big green boogies and is all congested, its been a really lazy week around here. Josh is all stuffed up and not feeling well. This weekend will be sanitize weekend!! hopefully i dont get it, so far i feel fine. we are very eargly awaiting some warmer weather. its been so cold over here in Farmington Hills.

Random happenings from the Troasts

here are some of the things we have been up too the last month.

****Josh has been busy with work. Nothing new there

*** Josh is enjoying his new car 04 impala, so have I :)

**** Josh has been busy killing mice, i think there are gone now.

*** I joined a MOPS group and love it , Elaine however is going through seperation anxiety and cries alot. She also started doind this at church too.. they are held in the same building. sunday she cried and cried, settled down and started back up towards the end.

**** I burned my hand badly... i was heating up wax to do my eyebrows, i went to get container from microwave and i dropped it all over left hand. luckly no surgery needed, but i will have to keep it wrapped another week yet.. 3.5 weeks total. it was so painful.

*** I have a new insight on only having one hand to use. it is very difficult to do.

**** Im starting to have blood pressure rise. its been really high for about six days now. Of course my blood work is fine, i just turned in a 24 urine. i have a bad headache again and feeling very nauseated.

**** Elaine has been doing projects. she loves to color, paint and glue stuff.

**** I officially have the only 2 year old who refuses story time at library.. it was embarrasing today, every child was singing dancing and then listened to story... my child,,, ran around saying NOOOO GO FOR WALK. and then she left the room. i quietly picked up our stuff and left. so much for socializing. she would rather play alone. which is what we did. the library is huge with lots of stuff for kids to do.

***** Elaine has turned into a picky eater.

***** She is saying so much stuff. her language is really comming out.

*** She runs naked every night before bath, she loves it.

**** she cracks us up every day.. I thank God every day for her.

*** WE are slowly adjusting to life here... I still dont think of it as home.

The Snowman

I had another Doctor appointment today, everything looked really good. My blood pressure was the best it has been scince my very first pre-natal visit. My protein was negative and the baby sounds and looks good. I think im comming down with a headcold as my sinus's are all plugged up and i just dont feel good. But at least im doing well as far as the baby is concerned. I will be 31 weeks tommorow. YEAH!!! so I never mad it this far before so im experiencing things i have never had the joy:( of experiencing like braxton hicks... at least i hope thats what they are?? man alive, they are crazy!! and sorry for this one, but constipation!!! oh my gosh, i dont know what to take but its been really bad and hurts really bad. I have never had that before. I dont even want to go because I know the pain i will endure. Other than that I can feel he is getting bigger as his kicks and punches sure hurt and are getting stronger. He has also had the hick-ups alot. Im starting to get anxious to meet him and see what he looks like. Im starting to really gear up for the fact that I might just go full term with Jacob, but who knows?

Yesterday Elaine had a really off day, she decided to undress her self during her nap and then not go to sleep. She was literally going nuts, screaming crying, kicking and would not give in. So we let her get up, she was so naughty all day. It was so insane. She had something up her butt and it was not good. She had big bags under he eyes and would not give in to sleep. We all ended up going outside to play. Josh helped her make a snowman. It was so cute to watch them play. Norman kept running up and pulling the arms out of the snowman( they were sticks,so he could not help himself) Elaine went to hug the snowman when it was finished. We were able to spend almost an hour outside, its been a long time because the weather has been so terribly cold. Today is another nice day so we may go out again.

Josh watched the superbowl and we put Elaine to bed Early. We made snacks and I tried really hard to stay awake but at 9:30 I could not take it anymore. I really wanted to stay up and watch the one hour Office, but I was sleeping on the couch, so i just went to bed. I heard it was really good.

I have been feeling really down again lately. Im really missing life back in spring lake, so bad that it hurts sometimes. I want to see my friends, and go to story time at library, playgroup with early on, i want to go to the Journey, and be close to friends and family. I miss making random visits to Aunt Lisas classroom. I felt terrible that Josh for the first time had no-one to watch the super bowl with. I miss my breaks away from Elaine, so i can just be alone, We have not found any babysitters yet. Its starting to take its toll on both of us, as we just want to go on a date. we have not done that in forever. Sometimes I wish i could speed up time and skip all this Detroit living and get back to west michigan. I get so frustrated with myself, I have good days and then bad days. Im trying hard to remember God does things for a reason and I just wish I knew the reason. Elaine seems to be doing fine,except when we go to church she wakes up and we tell her its sunday and we are going to church, the first words out her mouth are Noah, Ellie, Emma,baby(which she uses for Eli) I have to tell her no, those friends dont go to this church, She says their names several times during the morning. She does like her new room and plays with new friends. Josh still seems to like his work, although I can tell he misses home too. I really hope spring brings about better overall feelings.

We made it!!

We made it to our first goal, 30 weeks!!!!!!!!!!!!! We went out to eat to applebees tonight. We all shared the best dessert I have ever had in my life. Its new to Applebees. Its a warm chocolate chip cookie, with a sea of chocolate syurp, with two scoops of ice cream, four piles of whipped cream and oreo cookies all crushed on top and all over!! It was so good!! Elaine was dancing in her seat when she was eating it. IT was a great way to celebrate!!

Orchard Grove Community Church

I had a doctor appointment today. So far things are still looking ok. I made it to 30 weeks!! Josh is taking me out to dinner this week for that accomplishment!!! My blood pressure was ok, I had labs repeated and have to do another 24 urine for my thursday appointment. I do how ever have a Hernia around my belly button. I noticed it this past weekend when i would sneeze, or cough or laugh hard. My belly seemed to hurt really bad, I thought it was nothing until I watched my belly and my middle section would shoot straight out and become more painful. So I asked today if this was normal, she said NO. Hopefully she said she can fix it while I have my C-section other wise I will have to come back in for another surgery. Dr. Also said that if it becomes really painful i have to just lay down and push it back it. I had to do that tonight, talk about gross!!!

This past sunday we decided to go visit a church I found online while searching for a MOPS group to attend. The church is in walled lake and its called Orchard Grove Community Church. It is a very LARGE at least 1,000 people at the 9:30 service. It was a Journey on major steroids. I think that is why we liked it so much. Even though it was big it still had that feeling we had at the Journey. The pastor was wearing Jeans YES!! The band was awsome and one thing that I think bothered josh a little was their was alot of clapping and praise Jesus after songs.I grew up with that so it did not bother me but i think he was taken a little back by that. Elaine had a huge room to play in 2-3 year olds. I actually call it a gymnasium It was so big, and there was a mirror on the other wall that during the service you could go watch your kid with out them seeing you. NICE feature. The serise that they started their was Looking up when things look down. How apropriate. The sermon was taking from John 15:1-5,8 The pastor talked about that when you are going through some tough times remember that God is prunning you to do better things. this can mean a job situation, moving, family stuff etc.. not just losing your job which is what most people think of when hearing the word cutting back. The main objective was to Bear fruit, He talked about us being connected to the Vine and that God wants us to bear fruit,( LOVE AND JOY) he challenged us to think about what kind of fruit we bear on the vine. Are we allowing God to do all he wants to do, or do we question his every move or "prunning Tacktic" He talked about prunning can sometimes cause pain, confussion,frustration and so on, God prunes us for a greater preparation, he see something in us we dont at the time and the reason we are going through what ever it is, its because God sees the potential. This message is just a nut shell and pieces of what I wrote down, but for me it ment alot. I hated being and still dont like having been torn apart from my family and friends( I have talked about this with josh but i wont speak on his behalf) anyway, I have felt like everything was taken out from under me. not just with the move but with having kids and life. I was almost teary eyed during the service because God really does care for me and what is going on. He knows why and what he is doing. He is preparing us for something better and maybe not just on a spiritual level but other levels in life as well. We may not have liked the move but we also felt the tug to need to go, and God is taking care of us through out our stay in east side, as well as with this pregnancy and Jacob. I plan on going again next sunday if Im able. I really enjoyed the service and I found myself thinking about it again today. Which to be honest I dont always do after a sunday passes. Im also going to plan on attending the MOPS group that meets there in two weeks.

well, sorry this was so long winded but i felt like writing it down while stuff was fresh in my mind. I Hope this finds everyone doing well. Its freezing cold here and Josh just came home from a meeting and said we got about an inch of snow. I looked outside and sure enough we did!!

Fine Today

This morning I had a Doctor appointment. My blood pressure was ok 132/78 and i have gained four pounds in six days. I still have a headache but im feeling a little better. I have been resting at home and we took a long nap today. Im still not out of the woods, but each day that passes is good. I go back to the doctor on monday and then Thursday again, I will go every week on these two days. I decided that If I make it through monday that we will celebrate by going out to eat!! and get dessert!! I will be 30 weeks on Monday, so making anytime past that is wonderful to me!! I told Josh we had to celebrate some how!!

well other than updates things are pretty boring here. Lainey loves it that im home, we spend our days right now watching T.V. and playing with playdough, coloring, reading and i do all this sitting on the couch or at the table. Nothing to exciting. She wont know what to do when we can get back to normal, going places and getting outside more. I wont know what to do either.


I posted some pictures from the other day, Elaine got the blood pressure cuff and stethascope and put it on pooh bear, and said DADDY, she always sees daddy do that to me. Then she tried to chase norman down and do it to him too.. that did not fly so well.

Home again for now

I was able to come home yesterday. Thanks to many answered prayers and with those I had no real diagnosis so for insurance reasons I was not allowed to stay at hospital. I have to be on bed rest at home, no going out shopping or running around, only to Doctor appointments. Josh gets to do Laundry and Sunday he is going to learn how to make casserols!! and we will freeze them for dinners, because im not suppose to be on my feet that long. My Mother in Law just left this afternoon, she has been so helpful holding down the fort while i was gone. She cleaned the house and even organized cupboards and closets. Thank you so much MOM!

I got home around 12 yesterday. Had a quick lunch and went to my room and slept for almost 4 hours. My headache is almost gone, Im on Prednizone(sp) for a few days to see if it helps. I still dont feel the greatest but its not getting worse. Im just thankful to come home for a while. I have been really down lately and feeling depressed, but as i look back over the last week and all that has happened I now realize that It was all the prayers from people we knew and some I dont even know at all. First was with the pipe that burst in the house. We were told that we would be without laundry for a few weeks and that it would take a while to get it all fixed. Well yesterday guys came to check on how the drying was going.. and it was dry! so they hooked up washer and dryer again!! Thanks for that!! we still have a mess in back room but we can do our laundry. The next prayer that was answered was with me. I was really sick when I went into the hospital Friday, and very scared. I really thought this was it. They had drawn my blood. ( I learned about this story from my doctor whom came to talk with me saturday morning, while i cried and cried she just sat with me on the bed.) Dr. Harris shared with me her concern for my health and Jacobs. She told me the reason I could not eat anything and that she kept me in Labor and Delivery was because she honestly thought that she was going to deliver me. My first set of blood work came back with very elevated Liver Enzymes which means that preclampsia is getting into high gear. She said she decided to wait and do one more draw, when that came back it was completly back to normal. She told me she has never seen that happen before, it always goes up.. never back down.... I just smiled a midst my tears because I knew what had happened. So thank you to everyone for praying so hard because of that I get to be home a while longer and Jacob gets to grow some more.

I still have to take blood pressures at home,and weigh my self. I go back to doctor tommorow. with the understanding that if i progess with any other symptoms or have protein in my urine that I will be spending more time in hospital. We are just trying to make it to at least 34 weeks. But I know that it can happen anytime.


Thanks again to everyone for praying, and to my family for helping us out, it has been wonderful.

family update

Hello to everyone from room 307 at St. Johns Providence Hospital Southfield. I have access today to the computer for afew hours, in bed. I was admitted friday night with pre-clampsia symptoms. Currenlty i have some visual disturbances, seeing spots, pain in my left side and a persistant headache( which i have had for about a week) I have had lots of lab work and Im on my second 24 urine to test for protien. So far im stable, i can take a shower and go to the bathroom and then its back in bed. I cannot go for walks or any physical activity. My Labs have shown an increase in myliver enzymes but as of late seem to have come down(thanks for prayer) Today my white blood count is high and they are repeating labs every 12 hours. Today I have had some swelling,minor so far. My headache is still there, its under some control with Fiorecet(sp?) I can tell its there and dont really like to have to blinds open or lights on for long. My doctor has said that at any time my symptoms or 24 urine come back high that we will deliver. We would like to get into the 30 week mark if possible. She is not confident of this but its our goal, so that is why its strick bed rest. The best case scenario would be after a few weeks if im ok that i could possible go home on strict bedrest. This to is not what the doc thinks will happen. My body is up to something and its a matter of time. I have a couple different ultrasounds tommorow morning,as well as 2 times a day on the fetal monitor.

I have not been handling this the best, im scared,anxious, deppressed and not in the best mood. I know why i need tobe here, and what is best for Jacob but its alot easier said than done to relax and not be upset. I feel guilt that my body cannot do what it was made to do and angry. Ioften wake at night to memories of seeing Elaine all hooked up and the shame i felt because I was feeling better and she had to suffer. I will admit i have cried more these last few days than i have in over a year. I want things to be ok and jacob to be ok. After going through it once you would think I would be pre-pared, and i though that, but im not. Im digging deep for strength and find my self in prayer alot, actually sometimes angry conversation with him. I ask that you pray for me to let go and trust people, which i dont come by naturally. I need to trust that my family will be taken care of. and trust in staff at hospital as they know what is best. I really really miss Elaine and being with Josh. I feel like im missing out on a big part of Elaines life, esspecially scince i will be here a while. I get choked up thinking about it. I also miss Josh, I know that its not been easy for him and i love him so much for all his hard work. Please pray for him to have strength to get through work, home stuff and being here with me. If i did not have him I dont know what i would do. he has delt with alot these past few days... and i know its not easy.

I would like to thank my In-laws for all their help and for staying with Elaine, my sister and brother-in-law for staying this weekend, and to my parents for their help. And to everyone for prayers and support.

josh and I will try to keep the blog updated so that people can know what is going on.

Could the day get any worse...

So this morning I woke up to Josh whispering in my ear that there was no hot water... and then he left. THEN.... he came back again with out his pants and socks on?????? and said we have a problem. So i got up and went to find towels, and water eveywhere in the kitcken and back laundry room.. A pipe had burst, Josh was able to get water off before it got to the rest of the house. Well, he cleaned up a bit and left for work. I had a 32 oz jug of water in fridge in which Elaine and I had watery oatmeal and cleaned up with after heating the rest. I was about to start to head out for my Check-up at the doc,and I also had to bring back my 24 urine. And the doc office called, The Doctor was at a delivery. I had to go anyway because I had to turn in the 24 urine, and I have a bad headache again, not feeling well. Then Josh calls to tell me that someone will be at the house in half hour. So he came home while i went to the doc. Of course my blood pressure was up, and so they drew some blood and paged the doctor. SHe of course wants me to come right into Land D. What the heck?? How do i do that with a kid at home, a broken pipe, and a frantic husband,not to metion myself. I simply and calmly said NO. I told the nurse that I have no intention of spending the weekend in hospital for one high blood pressure. I said for them to call me when my protien levels come back, and then i would come in if needed. Yes I have a headache, and dont feel well, but ive been like that all week. She said she would see what she could do. ( ill keep you posted on that whole thing)

So... I get home to two men inthe house the plumber and a contractor. Wet towels and rugs piled on the kitchen floor. Water is still off until the soddered pipe dries. We cannot use the laundry until minium Monday( I knew I should have done it yesterday) and the whole wall on other side of kitchen has to be torn out and a cleaning service is comming soon to set up a bunch of fans and a humidifer for the whole weekend, they will be back every day this weekend. We have to have a new wall, they are hoping not to have to tear out part of kitchen wall. So much for resting today... people will be in and out all afternoon. It will be into next week before everything is taken care of.

Im just praying that nothing eles happens today.. i dont know if i can handle it. my house is a mess, and i cannot clean it,there is sopping wet stuff on the floor, I dont feel good and just want to do nothing, and I feel terrible for Josh who has to deal with all this stuff too. Im finding it really hard to trust God or find an humor or good in this day.(other than the bright sun is out, its nice to see that) We have had nothing but problems with this house scince we moved it two months ago. We had pipes back up, toilets break open,and now this... in less than two months. Josh called our relator today to tell her what has happened and see what we can do. Im really trying to be brave and make it through the weekend.
sorry this is such a negative post, but i have no place eles to vent and i feel better now that i did. thanks to everyone for listening.

Life with the Troast Family

Hello Everyone,
well our weekend was not as relaxing as planned. We went home to have a family christmas and visit with joshs brother and sister in-law from Arizona and their precious Mieke. she is almost three months old. We met her for the first time this week. Elaine loved her new cousin, and also learned this weekend what babys drink..."boobie Juice" Friday night turned on us though.... I have not been feeling well for about a week or so. Friday night i suddenly did not feel good at all so i asked josh to take my blood pressure because something did not feel right. It was 160/88 not good. My reflexed were a little hyperactive and i was dizzy and throwing up. We went into Triage at Mercy Special Delivery. They were concerned enough with preclampsia symptoms that they started me on Magnesium sulfate and shipped me off to spectrum. I stayed there for two days. this improved from friday and the doctor discharged me sunday night. I still dont feel great andhave a headache with pressure behind my eye. The specialist at spectrum basicly wrote us off because my blood work did not show anything. I do however have a protein level of 231( once you hit 300 then there are problems) so im safe with that for now. I was thankful we did not have to deliver and thankful i could go home. But i do know that I still dont feel right.

I had a doctor appoint today in Farmington Hills where the doctor we see was more concerned and understanding about it. Although i dont have pre-clampsia yet, she says it can happen any minute. She is going to be seeing me two times a week, and do a 24 urine test every week as well. She says that no one knows my body like myself so she is taking this seriously. I go weds morning for a ultrasound, and back again friday for a check up and bring in my 24 urine. She is running it stat so friday night she said if it comes back abnormal again she will prob put me back in the hospital to be monitored and then possible delivery. Im currently 28 weeks. We have also discussed that if things dont go well that this will probably be our last pregnancy that we will be able to have. Josh and I have talked about this but will probably wait until the emotional ride of having Jacob settles down. I know I cannot physically go through this again, and the thought of putting another human being at risk as well breaks my heart. I have always dreamed of a big family, but God must have other plans. This how ever does not take the sad feelings, i carry daily ,away from me. I must admit that i always knew there was a possiblilty of something happening again but until it does it does not sink in. it really is a struggle to not just sit here and cry all day. I also try to remind my self constantly that these two precious babies I have are really not mine but Gods and when i cannot stop crying or agonizing I remember to think on that. God really does have a plan in the midst of all this. It really is easier said than done to trust God in all areas. Thankfully Elaine keeps be busy and reminds me of how wonderful life is. I love her so much!! Im also very greatfull for my family and supportive friends who have been praying hard for us. It is definitly felt by josh and I. I also want to thank my wonderful husband. Josh you have been very paitent and loving through out this. I know its hard on you too. (josh stays by my side and has been very comforting and supportive) I LOVE YOU very much.

I will post updates on here as well as some on facebook. Its just easier to vent and share my feelings on the blog.

p.s. Im also working on getting wedding pictures from lisa and Jons wedding. We forgot our camera this weekend so I also have to wait for pictures from Laineys Chirstmas with the Troast and her new cousin.

We Need Your Prayers

Our family would like your help in keeping us in your prayers. I went to the doctor today and im starting to trend the way i did with elaine, ( all the preclampsia stuff) My doctor feels that i wont make it past 34 weeks. more like 32-33 she said if i went more the 34 weeks I would be lucky. I dont have protein but im starting to not feel good and starting to gain water weight. im too take it easy and try to bake a little longer. My doctor here in muskegon gave me a big hug today and told me to let her know how things go. ( I have a doctor now in Southfield i will be seeing and will probably deliver at Providence Hospital in southfield) They have a level three NICU its smaller than grand rapids but just as good. I have to weigh my self daily and check blood pressure. And be seen by the doctor every week now. my doctor in southfield also checks blood work every time i come. I will keep people posted as i will have to stay home more now.